Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Equal Love, Equal Rights

photo by Carlos Andres Varela

My wife and I were having what we call in my family as a "scientific discussion" at Tiffany's the other day. Which date should we engrave in our wedding rings? The digits commemorating our legal marriage in West Hollywood this summer, or those of our recent, more spiritual (and certainly more theatrical) nuptials in Times Square? What a lovely dilemma, right? Except that she wants to reject the California dates because California voters rejected us as a class of people. She's got a point.

While we honeymooned in New York, having voted by mail in L.A. County weeks earlier, our joy in the Obama victory was crushed by the news of the passage of Prop 8. When I got the final results on my phone in a store and burst into tears, the salesperson behind the counter was at a loss for words. Only the consoling arms of my wife helped. We can do that on the Upper West side of Manhattan - be affectionate in a normal, everyday couple way. Now that we're back in Hollywood, I'm scared of any PDA. Knowing that the majority of my neighbors - and I mean my immediate neighbors, like next door - voted to take away my rights, infuriates and terrifies me. These are people who actually know us, yet still voted against us.

I have often wondered why I came to L.A. exactly when I did. Joining the WGA, just in time for the Strike. Falling in love, just in time for the CA Supreme Court's landmark decision on marriage equality. I think I was meant to be here for these historic struggles. To literally change my point of view from East to West. To meet these people and these things and grow in these ways.

I can't be bitter about it. I GOT TO MARRY THE WOMAN I LOVE! Twice. Both are the happiest days of my life. And California played a large part in our couple history, so 08.16.08 goes on my ring. The NYC date's on hers. And together we can fight for our rights in all states of the union, because I agree with our new president, that "All things are possible."